Domestic abuse

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If your situation is not urgent, call the police on 101 or contact Berkshire Women’s Aid (BWA) helpline number on 0808 801 0882.

On this page:
Understanding domestic abuse
Check for an abusive past
Where to get help
Frequently asked questions
Other support
Domestic Homicide Reviews (DHRs)

Understanding domestic abuse

Anyone can experience domestic abuse and it can be involving your current partner, ex-partner or someone you live with. It can be a single incident or a repeated way to control another person. It can include:

  • physical or sexual abuse
  • violent or threatening behaviour
  • controlling or coercive behaviour
  • economic abuse
  • psychological, emotional or other abuse

Check for an abusive past

If you are concerned that someone you know has an abusive past, you can ask the police to check under ‘Clare’s Law’. This is your ‘right to ask’.

If records show that you may be at risk of domestic abuse, the police will consider disclosing the information. A disclosure can be made if it is legal, proportionate and necessary to do so.

If you are concerned about a friend or family member, you can apply for a disclosure on behalf of someone you know.

You can make a request to the police for information about a person’s previous violent offending in person at the police station or elsewhere, by telephone, by email, online or as part of a police investigation. Support agencies and services can also help you ask the police about this.

Where to get help

If you don’t live in Reading

If you live in a different council area, we’ve linked their websites below:

Berkshire Women’s Aid

Berkshire Women’s Aid (BWA) provides emotional and practical support to all people experiencing domestic abuse. Services include:

  • Refuge accommodation
  • Outreach and Independent Domestic Violence Advocate (IDVA) support
  • Financial, legal, housing and other advice
  • Free helpline: 0808 801 0882




National domestic abuse hotline

The National domestic abuse hotline offers 24-hour, confidential support to people experiencing domestic abuse. You can:


  • Talk to an adviser on the phone: 0808 2000 247
  • Use their live webchat for silent support
  • Get help to make informed decisions

Men’s Advice Line

Men’s Advice Line confidential service for men experiencing domestic abuse, or for people supporting them.
Support is available through:


  • Telephone
  • Email
  • Webchat

Call 0808 801 0327, or email info@mensadviceline.org.uk


Karma Nirvana

Karma Nirvana supports victims of:


  • Honour-based abuse
  • Forced marriage
  • Other forms of culturally specific abuse

They provide emotional support, advocacy, and education.
Call 0800 5999 247, or email info@karmanirvana.org.uk

Frequently asked questions

Am I in an abusive relationship?
Please visit the Refuge website for a detailed description of the signs of domestic abuse.
My partner hasn’t hit me, but they are mean to me and the children. Is this abuse?
It can be, yes. Domestic abuse can take place in the form of coercive control.
Is my child being abusive towards me?
Whilst it is normal for adolescents to demonstrate healthy anger, it should not be confused with violence. Further information on violence to parents from children.
Is it my fault?
Abuse is never the fault of the victim. Find out more on the Berkshire Women’s Aid website.
I argue and sometimes fight back. Am I abusive too?

It is normal for couples to argue as long as no-one is hurt, threatened or assaulted as a result. It is also normal to want to defend yourself if someone is attacking you.

However, this hugely increases the risk of serious injury to both you and your partner and should be avoided. Your actions might also be considered illegal by the police.

There is help available to address this violence, so please consider getting in touch with BWA for more information on: 0118 950 4003

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How do I leave and where will I go?
BWA can provide support and advice to those who want to leave an abusive relationship, regardless of gender. This includes emergency accommodation specifically for up to 38 women and their children, specialist refuge provision, and information on local refuge for men. Please visit the webpages below for more information:
  • Leaving an abusive relationship
  • Emergency accommodation and refuge

    • For those who do not need or want refuge you can contact Reading Borough Council’s Housing Advice Service for further options, including housing in the private rented sector. You can contact the team using the methods below:
  • Telephone: 0118 937 5165
  • Email: housingadvice@reading.gov.uk
    • I’m not a UK national, can I still get help?

    If you are not a UK national and do not have indefinite leave to remain in the UK, your legal rights may be more limited in some areas.

    However, you do have the right to live free from domestic abuse and have the same rights to protection from the law as everyone else.

    Domestic abuse support for non-UK nationals

    What support can my children get?

    BWA provides specialised group sessions, and one-to-one sessions if necessary, for children identified as living with domestic abuse.

    Will children’s services take my children away if I tell someone about the abuse?

    Children’s services (Brighter Futures for Children) have a statutory duty to protect children, and will assess each case on an individual basis. However, there are many options available when considering the best interests of the child, and taking children into care is a last resort. A range of Early Help Services are available that you may want to consider.

    Information on refuge services available for women and their children.

    I want to stay with my partner. Can I still get support?

    Yes, you can. There are all sorts of reasons why a person may not be ready to leave an abusive relationship, but you can still receive support. Visit BWA for more information on support with staying with your partner.

    For specialist advice for men, please visit Men’s Advice Line.

    What support can I get as a member of the LGBTQIA+ Community?
    Find out about support for domestic abuse in LGBTQIA+ relationships.
    What support can I get if I decide to prosecute?
    Independent Domestic Violence Advocacy Services are available to support you through the court process. If you report the abuse to the Police (999 for emergencies or 101 for non-emergencies), then they can advise you on the next steps and locate an Independent Domestic Violence Adviser.
    How can I support a friend or family member who is experiencing domestic abuse?
    Find out how to support someone who may be experiencing domestic abuse.
    What is a Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC) meeting and how are people picked for one?

    Cases of domestic abuse where a victim is assessed as high risk and at risk of serious injury of fatality should be referred to the MARAC.

    Read the outline of MARAC and the cases they cover

    .
    What help is there for me if I think I might be an abuser?

    If you are concerned about your behaviour or the behaviour of someone you know, there is support available.

    The Respect Phoneline is an anonymous and confidential helpline for men and women who are abusing their partners and families. Telephone helpline is available from 9am to 8pm, Monday to Friday: 0808 802 4040.

    The helpline also takes calls from partners and ex-partners, friends and relatives who are concerned about perpetrators.

    Webchat is available Wednesday, Thursday and Friday between 10am to 11am, and 3pm to 4pm on the website.

    Other support

    Bright Sky App

    Bright Sky is a mobile app and website for anyone experiencing domestic abuse, or who is worried about someone else. The app can be downloaded for free from the app stores. Only download the app if it is safe for you to do so and if you are sure that your phone isn’t being monitored. 

    Ask for ANI

    If you are experiencing domestic abuse and need immediate help, ask for ANI (Action Needed Immediately) in participating pharmacies. 

    When you ask for ANI, you will be offered a private space, provided with a phone and asked if you need support from the police or other domestic abuse support services. 

    Find out about how to get support on the Enough website. 

    Domestic Homicide Reviews (DHRs)

    A Domestic Homicide Review (DHR) is carried out where a person has died as a result of abuse, violence or neglect by a relative, intimate partner or member of the same household.

    To access more about our published reports and DHRs, please visit our Domestic Homicide Reviews web page.

    Last updated on 12/06/2026